Detector Defector

There is something to be said for having an absentee landlord. While it would mean more difficulties in getting things fixed, it would also alleiviate The Great Carbon Monoxide Detector Scare of 2012.

My landlord is not absentee. When my water heater pilot light went out? He was at my house in a half hour to fix it. When I needed to run a sprinkler line for my garden? He set aside a day to install it. When I couldn't figure out why there was a strange noise coming from the heating vent, he spent a weekend trying to figure it out.

For a single mom who has an ex who is, as long time readers will know, not handy in the least, this sort of landlord is ideal.

Until he sent an email asking to stop by and check the smoke detector, the carbon monoxide detector, and change the filters and I experienced momentary panic.

Because I unplugged the carbon monoxide detector months ago.

Now before you gasp in shock and picture us being slowly poisoned by a scentless gas, there's a couple of things to remember. My house always has a window open somewhere and we don't have a gas furnance. Granted, there's a gas oven, but really, how often is that used?

Besides, I needed the outlet for my sewing machine.

My little house was built in a time when an outlet per wall was sufficient. I have no idea when this time existed, but let's just say when one only has a single outlet in the dining room in which to plug one's sewing machine in order to sew Jedi robes, one unplugs the carbon monoxide detector.

To note: Unplugging the detector results in it shrieking.

Which means I also took out the batteries. Thankfully they were AA because Joseph's Wii remote was running out of juice.

So when I got an email from my landlord while I was in Boston, I panicked. Something tells me he would not be pleased that we were risking death by carbon monoxide. I sent him a quick response telling him I was out of town and we could schedule something for when I got back.

Then I rushed around trying to find the detector.

I got it plugged in - sans batteries because I didn't have any AA batteries on hand - and am keeping my fingers crossed that he'll not notice the missing batteries.

He'll probably notice the missing batteries.

Maybe I'll play dumb and tell him the kids must have taken them out.

Maybe I'll be honest and tell him I had to remove them to stop the shrieking and then wave off any concern that a shrieking detector usually indicates Very Bad Things.

Maybe I should hope he doesn't know about this blog and is now sitting at his computer screen with a furrowed brow and picturing his tenants dying because of Jedi robes.

To hedge my bets, I left a note with a big bowl of fresh tomatoes and told him to help himself.

I'm not above bribery.