So.Today's my birthday.
The big 3-7.
Yeah.
I have to admit, I'm having a tough time with this particular birthday.
Maybe it's because I had the sudden realization that there isn't much difference between where I am now and where I was at 27.
Except some extra weight.
And a few more wrinkles.
Okay, a lot more wrinkles.
And more responsibilities.
Aka The Gingers.
It's odd, really. This feeling that I'm right back where I was ten years ago. Chad said something the other day that really struck me.
"The last ten years may have been filled with memories, but what are those memories except illusions. It makes life and time seem like an illusion."
The man is a bit of a deep thinker when his ex ponders the Universe.
And when this particular ex ponders, it means her over thinking hits warp speed and the next thing you know...
We delve into existentialism.
Which is really dangerous.
Instead, I'll count my blessings:
The Gingers who love me almost as much as I love them.
Family who puts up with me and loves me despite my flaws.
Friends who celebrate my highs and hug me during my lows.
A friend who is more than a friend and makes me laugh no matter how melodramatic I get.
An ex who is still a friend, even when he drives me crazy and I make him sigh in exasperation.
People who read my words and encourage me to keep writing.
A job filled with supportive co-workers who make me fatter by baking ridiculous birthday cakes.
Characters who populate my mind and give me stories. Oh. Wait. That makes me sound crazy. I'm not. Really. I know the voices in my head aren't real. Okay. I'll stop now while I'm ahead.
The funny thing is...when I start counting those blessings, I see something a bit more.
I see people who are bearing witness to my life, proving it's not an illussion.
Wow.
I'd say we just got really deep, but I've mentioned existentialism so we were already there. Imagine what I might be talking about later when my girlfriends bring me dinner and we start opening wine.
You're so wishing you were going to be flies on the wall tonight.
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4 comments:
Oh my friend, those moments are so much more than illusions. They are the energy that makes up the universe, and without them there would be nothing. May your birthday be wonderful and special. I can't wait to see what your future holds :)
this is the beginning of a new year - full of surprises (the good kind), journeys (near & far) & emerging relationships (@ work, w/children, girlfriends, yourself & even your writing).
HaPpY bIRtHDaY... see you soon!??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDY! Your life...our lives are not illusions...they are are myriad of moments that we create everyday! I'm so glad to have met you at Monart! And to have your blog as one of my daily reads! Keep talking those talks in your head and writing them down!!!! Happy Birthday and have a bottle for me!
Happy birthday again, brilliant Mandy. You bet we are bearing witness. Love you. Plus also? Five days.
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